Some of us, and if you’re reading this, probably you, possess a deep desire to be our greatest, to self actualize, as in the highest level of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Because life is awesome when you’re awesome. But how can we become our best self? Well through what we have control over, which are our actions and decisions. Well guess what, the thing that dictates how we act is our perception of self – our identity. If we want to make a big transformation in our life, we must start with the mind, with our self-concept – the beliefs we hold about who we are. Why does our self concept dictates how we act? Our thoughts, beliefs and feelings about ourselves are the governing power over our behavior and actions. Now, I don’t know the precise science for this but think about it for a moment. Do you ever think, ‘Wow I feel shit about myself, let me perform a Ted talk in front of 200 people’. No. You think (subconsciously) ‘I feel shit so I will scroll TikTok and numb myself’. There are some exceptions where negative motivation can help, like going to the gym because you hate how you look in pictures or how conscious you are about the way you sit. But I believe that positive feelings about yourself is the most consistent and healthy way to make a transformation. You have deep appreciation for your body so you want to reach new heights of physical fitness and skills. It’s the same the other way around. You are confident about yourself, you know you show up for the pitch because you have something so great to offer its a disservice to keep it to yourself. You are confident in your communication abilities, in your authenticity and values, you are what you preach, you respect yourself, and the consequence of feeling like that about yourself is that you’re performing exceptionally. People can sense that you have high respect for yourself and they naturally respect you for it. It’s not about being conceited. This self respect was intentionally and with much effort built from relentlessly showing up for yourself in the toughest times. Because you respect yourself, you’re not going to eat junk that will make you slaggish and unproductive for the rest of the day, you’re going to nourish yourself and treat your body with care, and it will return your favor by allowing you to perform well. Because you respect yourself, you’re not going to shirk the plans you made for yourself because of an impulsive decision to go out, waste money and get wasted. It’s not about being strict with yourself and denying you of everything joyful life has to offers. It’s about making sure the one life you live is lived to the fullest and in the most fulfilling way. The reality of actually being the person you always dream of becoming outshines any other reality I can think of. The consequences of living in alignment with my higher self excites me and energizes me. The consequences of not trying hard enough scares me to death. I want you to think about the type of person you want to become. What systems of habit do they have in place, what characteristics are obvious about them, what do they value, what are their aspirations, how do they choose to spend their time, what are their life’s mission. Even small and mundane things like how do they dress, what does their work environment looks like, how do they carry themselves when they walk down the street, how do they engage in conversations, what do they eat. I want you to create a strong vision of the kind of person you want to become. So you can later use this image to guide you on how you should act when you start hesitating. You must have a clear and detailed vision that makes you excited to wake up and show up for the day and in every decision as this higher version of yourself. Now that we have a tangible vision of our best self, how can we develop a new identity that aligns with this vision and make it stick around? How do we bridge the gap of who we are and who we desire to be? With proof. The more of it, the stronger your new sense of self and the more your actions will naturally align to fit the new identity. What do I mean by proof? Its these moments of time you can recollect you did something that made you proud, something your idea of best self would have done. Like taking a leap of courage and presenting in front of a big crowd. Like waking up in the morning even though you feel tired as hell to go take a silent, meditative walk or write a blog. Daily actions and unrelenting acts of showing up and making the disciplined choices reinforce the identity you want to embody. People that excel in life show up for themselves without fail, they get a kick of doing it. They even go out of their way to do what scares them. They get a thrill from venturing outside of their comfort zone and doing the hard thing nobody else does. In the same way that small acts of discipline and courage help persist your wanted identity, acts that contradict this identity greatly sabotages its realization, and you either find yourself back to your old ways or far worse. The micro acts of giving in and staying late in bed, skipping workouts, and procrastinating on the things that only fill you with more overwhelm and anxiety when you keep avoiding them. They create tears in your new perception and it can escalate so quickly. A new self-concept is hard to craft but easily destroyed. Another act that sabotages you is negative self talk. Now this is something I thought was irrelevant to me because I thought I viewed myself in a very positive light borderline arrogance. It took me a long time to realize I was guilty of this too. So if you think this one doesn’t relate to you think again. It probably does a lot more than you think. It attacks you subconsciously, in the things that matter to you most. Here’s a personal example. I thought badly about myself as a writer. I thought I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t fast and coherent enough. But today, as of writing this blog’s draft, I choose to think that I’m capable albeit not used to writing like this, more formally and lengthy. And it’s a skill to be learned. I’m going to get better at this. In fact, I think I have the adequate mental faculties to even learn to be amazing at this. And I’m proud of myself for even trying and striving to be great at this. Although I’m still a beginner, I accept the current stage I’m in and am determined to write consistently and frequently with confidence that I’ll experience the growth I want. So in order to avoid the micro acts and negative talk that reverses your progress, do the mental drill I just described, catch the insecure thought, rationalize it, try to understand the reason behind it, realize it’s natural to think like that but now you are in control and you intentionally replace the thought with something you also can believe in, but is growth oriented and compassionate. If its an action you’re about to do or don’t do, think what your higher self would have done in that situation. It would purposefully choose the more difficult one. Think about all the (arguably not so) small moments of reaching for Instagram reels, TikTok, Reddit, video games, whatever comfort, mind-numbing, dopaminergic activity you usually opt for. You first have to become aware of all these moments that add up and eat away at your time instead of it being invested in meaningful activities, and be real with yourself. These moments are not insignificant. You either choose to become ignorant of how much time is actually wasted or you excuse them as recharge for your brain but let’s face it, 1 year from now you will wish you chose to use these 3-4 daily hours another way. After raising awareness to the problem and realizing the pain of wasting this much important time on stuff that only makes you more anxious and angry at your own reality, you need to find replacements. For example, I’m currently writing this para on another day before going over the entire draft and making refinements, just before this, I came home from work, and I involuntarily opened Instagram. Then I realized Instagram is just a tool of escapism because either I’m scared to do the meaningful work or my brain tells me I’m too tired and the work is too hard. I intentionally choose to instead close the app and open my computer without letting my mind win the argument. Its a small act but it made a huge different, in my overall mental state too, I’m more motivated than I was when I reached for Instagram, and I have more respect for myself. I realized that I could replace the act of seeking cheap dopamine with a whole line of other activities. I could reach for my computer like I did today, or I could have reached for a book and read, or learn something exciting I’ve been meaning to study for a while. There are lots of activities to choose from that are engaging and rewarding and will not destroy my life’s mission to fulfill my potential. It takes practice, but the more you do it, the more you’re aware of these moments and the more you are in control. With time, through awareness and replacement, you will rewire your brain to believe in this identity you have envisioned and your actions will want to keep aligning. Its a self-fueling cycle. Small acts of showing up gathers proof. Intentionally replacing old habits and thinking patterns with new ones builds an identity which guides your next actions and allows you to self actualize and transform your life. To summarize everything, here is a practical exercise to start working on creating your best version. 1. Write down your higher self core values and characteristics 2. Write down what your higher self considers as meaningful work 3. Write down how you higher self spends their downtime (when they are not in deep work). I like to call it a dopamine menu. Activities that allow me to explore, recharge and get inspired and don't require significant effort and concentration. But they are also not cheap dopamine, I'm still evolving, still expanding my mind, true resting, not numbing. 4. Write down the current habits you are dissatisfied with 5. Write down replacements for each, what will you do instead when the old habit arises Below is my own personal answer for this drill. 1. The kind of person who is scared of not fulfilling themselves and leaving the world with regrets. Has a deep desire to become the greatest across multiple domains in life: fitness, business, interpersonal skills, creativity... Is very goal oriented, always passionately works on something, a new project, a new skill. Has high self respect and always shows up for themselves, executes on their plans, perseveres through challenges, not afraid of being a beginner and relentlessly makes an effort to improve until the object of interest is mastered. Is very careful with how they spend their time, and is proficient at using the 16 waking hours we are all given towards making something great. 2. Meaningful work currently is advancing in my mobile app project. Also writing and pushing content about the things that matter to me, sharing publicly my insights and documenting my journey. Becoming better at expressing myself. Working on my confidence and communication skills. Working out and becoming stronger, reaching peak physical fitness. 3. My dopamine menu is reading a book, listening to a podcast, learning Spanish, stretching, taking a walk. 4. Current habits I'm dissatisfied with are 1. waking up but not getting up from bed for the first 30 minutes, contemplating why I should get up and conducting a whole debate in my head why I should or shouldn't go back to sleep. 2. going on Instagram to view reels, stories or checking who viewed my own story every time I reach for my phone in moments I feel tired or bored. 3. at home binge watching trash tv with my sister 4. listening to music the entire 2.5 hours ride home for the weekend 5. eating junk when I'm social 5. Replacements 1. Choose something to do the night before for the first 20 minutes to an hour of waking up. Something novel that makes you excited to wake up for. For example I want to improve my communication skills so I will practice a recording drill on my morning walk. 2. Always carry a book around with you or save articles for later on your phone and read when you have free time outside of your deep work, or if you're too low energy for it. Otherwise, do your deep work. Go as far as using the same cue of wanting to go on socials and intentionally do the most significant work you can do for the day, as a statement. 3. Talk with my sister and tell her my plans, if she wants to join in for her own project, better yet, but even if not, clarify that I have really important goals I want to achieve so I can make both our lives better. Spend meaningful time with her on our walks. 4. Use the book I take around with me, or listen to an educational podcast, or write a piece of content on the train, or learn Spanish. 5. Always choose the high protein option. If its a burger - give up on the fries. Practice saying no to take outs despite my hijacked brain really wanting to and the discomfort of disappointing someone. View it as a practice in financial discipline. If its a house gathering, eat a high protein meal in preparation, never go hungry. Remind myself of my fitness goals. Go over the list of skills I want to achieve in my fitness journey. Now its your turn. Btw, I'm working on an app called Entity for helping me track progress across multiple areas of importance in my life and be used as proof and motivation as well as self documentation for designing my own higher identity. If that sounds interesting to you, [follow me on X for updates.](https://x.com/_anonbrain)